Sometimes, Just Say “I Don’t Know”

Whether you realize it or not, when you tell someone to just try and “move on” before they can be healed of whatever hurt they received, all you are in fact doing is devaluing their pain and their perspective.

Whether the hurt is real or imaginary, it still hurts and making it seems like it’s just not that important makes them feel unimportant. When they ask for answers and you give them the politician run around and dance around a topic, the whole while evading the truth, all you are really doing is making them feel stupid.

Sometimes you just have to say “I don’t know” because sometimes you really may just not know. Sometimes you just have to hug someone and love on them without trying to say anything or adding any kind of two cents in. Whether or not you are in a leadership position or not or you just feel the need to “step up” and show them why what they did is wrong and why your point of view is backed by experience and knowledge, all you are making them feel is that their opinions and revelations are worthless.

Even though you may “know better”, sometimes you need to just let things play out until somebody who is obviously under an intense amount of duress calms down. Then you can rectify the situation and pick of the pieces, but if you try to fix things with your own personal brand of “guidance” before that right time all you will end up doing is shattering their peace and self-confidence even more until you have an extremely volatile situation and an even more volatile person who feels completely unjustified and worthless because they’ve been shown their opinions or pain don’t matter when compared to how right your opinions are.

We talk about a culture of honor, right? Sometimes honor is leaving someone alone until they know what to do with themselves.

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Creating an environment of honor

Many people define honor as a code of personal ethics that influence your behavior, actions, relationships, views, thoughts, and choices among other things. While this may hold true for many people, God defines honor as two powerful people in a covenant relationship.

By the way, I don’t take credit for all this as I’ve been watching Danny Silk’s “Culture of Honor”, however some of these are revelations and wisdom I’m adding.

To create an environment of honor you have to understand that honor comes from love, respect, and humility in a covenant relationship. Humility is often defined as sometime not taking credit or compliments or putting themselves below everyone else as to not seen arrogant. But that is false humility.

I define humility as putting everyone else around you up and encouraging them not to have them do it back to you but trusting that they will. In all things you do, do in love. Let the other person know they are powerful, loved, respected, honored, and that you don’t expect anything in return.

You will see a change in someone and your relationship because when people realize they are powerful they begin to abandon the victim mindset and be righteous sons and daughters of God. See the chain reaction that follows giving someone power and honor and watch it change your life, their life, and everyone around them’s lives.